


Reflecting on his Roots

by GeckoGirl89



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: Black Character(s), Canon Compliant, Charles Gunn Centric, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Introspection, Kwanzaa, POV Character of Color, POV Charles Gunn, Season/Series 03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-09-12 14:00:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9074950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeckoGirl89/pseuds/GeckoGirl89
Summary: As he walks home alone through the silent streets, Gunn considers how the days after Christmas are always a little quieter. Most people stop celebrating on the 25th, but Gunn's holiday celebrations only just begin.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Joyous Kwanzaa to those who celebrate it! I don't celebrate Kwanzaa, so I did some research to make this as culturally accurate as possible while including some variations that I thought fit for Charles Gunn. Please let me know if I missed anything or did anything wrong.
> 
> There are some references to his sister Alonna, and I created a little bit of information about his parents. I also refer to the events in 3.03 (That Old Gang of Mine), since this fic takes place in season 3.
> 
> Glossary of Kwanzaa terms used in this fic:  
> kinara- the candle holder used for Kwanzaa celebrations in the U.S.  
> mkeka- the decorative mat upon which ceremonial symbols are laid out for Kwanzaa celebrations  
> umoja- unity, the principle celebrated on the first day of Kwanzaa  
> ujima- collective work and responsibility, the principle celebrated on the second day of Kwanzaa
> 
> The official website for Kwanzaa is available here: http://www.officialkwanzaawebsite.org/index.shtml

Wesley, apparently in the Christmas spirit, has given the rest of the team the week off between Christmas and New Year's, assuming Cordy doesn't have an urgent vision. Gunn knows the work they do never stops, but it's nice to have a little bit of time off.

The day after the Christmas celebrations at the office, Gunn goes to a bookstore near his old neighborhood where he picks up a new issue of The Flash comic book series and some new candles for Kwanzaa, along with a mkeka made of red kente cloth. Gunn had never had a mkeka before since he had only been able to rescue the kinara from his family home when they were attacked by vampires. He had also been able to take Alonna and a picture of his parents. Gunn did his best to pass the tradition of Kwanzaa along to his sister, but during many lean, hungry years they couldn't even afford extra candles since making sure their group of homeless youth could eat was more important.

Gunn is glad that he can afford something nicer this year.

While he's looking for Kwanzaa supplies, he spots a linguistics section in the bookstore. He knows the store has a sale for the next few days, so he texts Wesley with the information.

"Thank you," he replies. "And Happy Kwanzaa."

Gunn smiles down at his phone, collects his purchases, and pays for them as the register.

As he walks home alone through the silent streets, Gunn considers how the days after Christmas are always a little quieter. Most people stop celebrating on the 25th, but Gunn's holiday celebrations only just begin.

As he goes into his tiny apartment and sets up his Kwanzaa display, Gunn reflects on umoja, the principle for today. He wishes he could have done a better job with unity this year, but he hadn't been expecting Gio to come in and start influencing his old crew in bad ways. Gunn thought he had left his crew in good hands with Rondell, and he'd felt torn when he found out that they were killing harmless demons like Lorne. He hated being in conflict with his old friends, but they had lost the mission. Despite his own discomfort at working for a vampire, Gunn had to admit that Angel had the mission when they didn't.

At least he will do a better job with ujima. He knows he did a lot of good with Angel Investigations this year, and he's planning to visit Anne in a couple of days and help out in her teen shelter in whatever way she needs.

Next to the kinara, Gunn sets up the sole photo he has of his deceased parents and a photo of his sister, who he had to kill after she had been turned into a vampire. Pictures of relatives you have lost aren't necessarily part of traditional Kwanzaa celebrations, but they're important to Gunn. Kwanzaa is an opportunity for him to connect with his roots, and Gunn needs the visual reminders of where he came from. Everyone at Angel Investigations has found family in each other, but Gunn doesn't want to forget his original family.

Gunn strikes a match to light the black candle in the center of the kinara and then blows out the match when he's done. He looks at the picture of his smiling parents and wishes that they hadn't died when he was so young and that he could actually remember what they looked like. Vague memories of Christmases and Kwanzaas come to mind, and Gunn's lips turn up a little. His mood turns guilty when he looks at Alonna. He had always known it was his job to protect his baby sister, and Gunn still felt remorseful that he ultimately couldn't save her. The last thing his dad said to him, when a gang of vampires invaded their home, was that he needed to protect Alonna. He thinks of past Christmases and Kwanzaas with her in old warehouses, always in a new place for every holiday season, sometimes barely managing to survive, with no money for gifts of any kind. But that's not what Christmas or Kwanzaa is about. At least Gunn had her. Despite what he has gained since he started working for Angel's team, Gunn wishes that he hadn't lost his sister.

Gunn takes a deep breath. "I miss y'all," Gunn tells them. He hopes there is some kind of afterlife, that somehow they can hear him. "Every day."


End file.
